Numbness on the right side of my head.

WARNING: this post is very graphic and could make you sick just reading it.

The right side of my head is in pain...i was only asleep for 4 hours, but now i am suffering from the affects of sleeping while sick. i love to sleep, and it pains me to always suffer from sleeping while sick.

sleeping while sick is where every time you sleep, your sickness gets worse.

A few years ago, around the time i was 13, something horrible happened. Somehow the pathway of snot in my nose started seeping into my throat, thus me having to cough up this snot, aka phlegm.

I can feel the snot in my throat, as i will eventually have to start coughing this crap up. i am sick and tired of being sick and tired. i have so much crap that i must do today, and barely any time to do it. i need to cry right now, but i can't.

i have been debating if i should even attempt school, but in all honesty i just don't think i can withstand it. my body itself isn't as of right now, in as bad of a condition as it was yesterday morning, although its still makes me a little dizzy to stand.

i just want to rest, and be stress free.

i am going to admit right now...and no longer be ashamed of the consequences of admitting such a truth will bring. i am a terribly lazy person. i have absolutely no motivation. maybe it was brought on by all the unlucky circumstances brought to me and my mom. maybe its the lack of socializing for the last 8 or so years....maybe its the lack of being forced to do what i dont want to do, and maybe always having that crutch.

there is no career that i really want to do. the truth is i don't want to do anything. i just don't belong in this world...i really don't want to. i am lazy, and i honestly don't care what people think about that. its what i am. i wish i could find a way that would let me live the life i truly want, and thats to do nothing but what i want to do in life, stress free. i am sick of being a slave.

i am really thirsty, due to the disgusting behavior of my throat right now, i cannot really enjoy water, something i really like and love to drink.

part of me wants to go to class, even though i probably couldn't handle it, for the pure fact that teachers punish you for being sick, they will fail you...even though they "encourage" you to take leave, they are unforgiving for it. and people wonder why so many get sick?