Understanding depression

Everyone has their bouts with depression, but most quickly come out of it. But people like myself have a particularly different case with depression.

Depression is a medical condition. Yet most people do not realize this. They assume we choose our feelings. They think its as easy as saying "yes I can" or "i am beautiful".

Its like schizophrenia in the sense that usually something in the environment has to trigger the condition and set it off.

The problem with medications is that if they work, you run the risk of dependency on them. Not necessarily addictions, but the problem of "what if I can no longer afford them?" Sometimes medication working can make things worse. If you could no longer afford the medication, it will plunge you into a very painful depression...the fact that the meds work and now you can't have them makes you feel worse than ever because NOW you know you can be happy.

People need to understand depression. They need to realize its very painful to live with and deal with. I have never had a support system in my entire life. No one ever listened to me nor cared for my struggles. I have always had to deal with depression on my own.

Its very hard to face the world by yourself. Its hard to get out of the bed. Sometimes the most simplest of things feels impossible for me to do because I am in such a current state of misery and emotional pain....

As I write this right now, I am in tears because I am in another depressed state.

I find my depressed states to be at their worst during the night. I am nocturnal, an insomniac.

So many people want to blame the victim for their own depression. The problem is that they are pushed into a painful world with no trustworthy, reliable support system to make their life easier to deal with.

Formerly depressed people often claim to understand what you are going through but often they will never provide you the support system that you need, usually because they are afraid of some kind of relapse or because like the majority of people out there, they just don't understand how to handle and deal with depressed people.

The thing is, you have to understand depression before you can figure out how to help someone. But one must realize each depressed person has their own individual needs.

The best thing you can do is to lend your ear and actually listen, instead of doling out useless advice (and believe me, most of it IS useless) and to stand strong against the depressed person efforts to shove you out.

In a sense we are kind of testing you (albeit unwittingly). We start to realize who is there for us when they are still with us at our most ugliest and worst states.

It helps not to criticize and blame the victim. No one wants to willingly be depressed.

But most important of all, do not and I mean DO NOT, tell the depressed person to snap out of it. Don't expect them to just all of a sudden become happy.

Clinically depressed people are not like normal depressed people who have occasional moments of sadness. Clinically depressed people are dealing with major and even severe pain. Living is very hard for them to do. We often think about suicide as the answer. We often spontaneously out of nowhere go into a long bout of depression, how long it lasts can vary.

When you don't understand what we depressed people go through, you often make things worse especially for us. If you don't understand it, then just shut up and walk away. Don't speak about what you seriously don't know about.