There is a step that is VERY crucial for a gazillion reasons. This is the first step one should take in any situation really....but we are going to use helping someone as the example.
This step is called, LISTENING.
You may be laughing and thinking to yourself, "yeah I am sooo sure"
But you would be surprised at what listening can do.
Have you ever found yourself trying to talk about your problem to someone and the other person starts talking about themselves, or worse they start trying to minimize your problem and make you feel like a fool for rightfully being upset?
How about when your in a normal conversation and you find yourself fighting to talk? Always getting interrupted or having to compete to get what you say in because the other person can't shut up long enough?
Listening and hearing are different things. I hear you speaking, but I am not listening to anything you say. Pretty much sums up that difference.
Most of us will hear what others have to say, but won't actually listen to it.
When you are trying to help someone, listening to them instead of trying to talk can make a difference. Why?
- When you stop to listen, you may hear things that you would normally miss because you are too busy trying to talk.
- Sometimes a person can drop hints that they wouldn't be upfront about. You have to listen to pick up on them.
- Listening can be all that person needs...sometimes the difference between a good day or depressing angry day. Sometimes we just need to vent.
- If you plan to give out advice, if you don't listen you will not even remotely understand the situation and thus you will make it worse by minimizing the scale of it.
I always say to only "speak of what YOU only know"...but also it would help if people took the time to just listen to others instead of always having to talk.
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